Okay, before you start expecting this to be a serious entry…it’s not. Don’t even bother. This is a very, very goofy, I-probably-haven’t-had-as-much-sleep-as-I-need type entry. But, hey, it actually has SOME barring to my topic manner! Really, it does! That’s why I’m not just putting it in my live journal.
See, I was reading Justine Larbalestier’s blog. (One of several author blogs I’ve recently been reading….all of which have been effective in making me determined to read their books….this is a sneaky, sneaky marketing move, let me tell you…) And one of her readers asked about book signing etiquette.
This post really doesn’t have much to do with her answer, but it’s worth reading anyway. That, and the Maureen Johnson blog post she links to. (I’m reading one of her books right now. Yes. Because of the blog. Sneaky, I tell you!)
But, anyway, it reminded me of a funny story.
See, last November, when this blog was merely a twinkling in my eye (that IS the right phrase, right?) I went to the Fantasy Fest. See, my county’s library system—the Douglas County Library system—has a Fantasy Fest every year in November that is a celebration of all things Fantasy and Sci-Fi. Last year, for example, they had (among other things) human chess, face painting, henna, and—the highlight of EVERY year—they have some fantasy authors come in to talk about their work and answer questions, as well as sign books. Kevin J. Anderson and Rebecca Moesta were actually the authors last year. They signed my book. They took my check even though they normally don’t. I’m terrified they’re going to find this blog, see my not-quite-positive review of their book, and…remember who I am. ._. They used to live in Livermore, California and noticed my name, and then I [nervously] said something about how my Mom’s name being Rebecca, too, and how her maiden name was Haley, and that’s why my name is Haley, and…yeah, I certainly did everything I could to make sure they REMEMBERED my name, and now I desperately wish I HADN’T.
Anyway, where was I? Oh. Yes. Book signing.
Well, last year, I decided to go to the Fantasy Fest ahead of my friend and my brother—my brother was working that night, and I had missed the author Q&A the previous year, and I was desperate to make sure I didn’t miss it again. The year previously it wasn’t TOO bad that I had missed it, but that’s because I won the short story contest that year and nothing else really mattered in my mind at that point. (Yes. I’m tooting my own horn. It’s my blog, I can do that.)
They DID get there late, too. At one point I saw my friend Hannah outside of the door when someone had come into the room, and I was desperately trying to call her in without bringing attention to myself. (Impossible, I had decided to sit right at the front of the room. As I said, I somehow managed to make myself far, far too memorable to Mr. Anderson and Ms. Moesta.)
So, anyway, Jeremy (my brother) and Hannah were then left to their own devices while I was in the author Q&A. Most of you don’t know them…those of you that do know that it’s very, very bad to leave them alone together. They’re like-minded in many things. And neither of them have a possible future as a writer to maintain.
So, Hannah and Jeremy, unable to find me (even though I was RIGHT THERE), decided that I “must be dead.” Hannah thought it’d be funny if they went around the library asking if anyone had seen “our dead friend.”
Jeremy: I would give money to see that.
Hannah: Do you have any money?
Jeremy: *sadly* No…wait! *reaches into his pocket* One of the pairs of pants a tthe dry cleaner’s had a DIME in the pocket!
(At the dry cleaner’s he works at, they get to keep anything left in the pockets that’s worth less than $10. Including money. He always manages to have cash on hand, because people are always leaving cash in their pockets.)
So, Hannah asked the question, and Jeremy gave her the dime. They then decided that this dime was, in fact, the ‘Daring Dime’. Dare someone to do something, they do it, they get the dime.
As you can imagine, this just fostered their imaginations even more. (They also decided they were vampires, and ‘kidnapped’ me when I came out of the author Q&A—including dragging me into the stairwell.)
Then, they had a brilliant, brilliant idea. See, I had (nervously) joked to them that “They have tons of best sellers. Tons. I want to get a book signed by them to see if their skill and talent will rub off on me so I can become a Super Writer.”
That gave them an idea. They told me about the Daring Dime. And Hannah declared that she would do that dare—but she had the dime!
So, of course, I had to dare Jeremy to do something so he would get the dime. (They were trying to get me to do something, but I had gone there thinking in terms of being a WRITER, and I was NOT hurting my chances of getting into the industry. Oh no, I was going to do that by giving my name to a pair of popular authors and then giving their book a 7.5/10.) So, I dared him to hug a guy in a werewolf costume. (This, by the way, was worth my career. Maybe.)
So, now he had the dime. Hannah was now free to do their wonderful plan.
Hannah gets in line for the book signing...
Walks up to the authors…
And asks for a sample of their DNA so she can “fuse it with my own and become a Super Writer.”
Kevin J. Anderson: You mean like a strand of my hair?
Rebecca Moesta: Well…one more couldn’t hurt. [Mr. Anderson is, well, balding a little. That's what she was refering to.]
Kevin J. Anderson: Oh, well, that’s true. *takes out a strand of hair and gives it to Hannah*
The sad thing is, I think SHE LOST THAT STRAND OF HAIR. She could’ve started a collection.
Not that I would do that. Considering I might actually, you know, be doing this for my REAL job some day. But still, it’d be cool.
I should note that I don’t recommend this. I’d bet money (more than a dime) that if you asked Neil Gaiman that, he’d just call security on you. Or punch you. He doesn’t seem like the sort of guy that would do that, but those are the dangerous ones. Those British guys you don't EXPECT to be violent, but then suddenly are.
Wait, I just said something else that’s going to get me in trouble with the industry, didn’t I?
Nuts.EDIT: Wow. I leave even MORE spelling mistakes and weird grammar stuff in my posts when it's in the morning. hopefully it should be a little better now.